Cool Marriage Jokes

I enjoyed the following jokes of marriage, hope you too will enjoy it, sharing with you :-)

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.

You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Man: Is there any way for long life?

Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?

Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?

It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.

It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.

Arranged Marriage & Love Marriage

This is a comedy story, but sometimes you find this as reality in some situation

The Indian man said to the American," You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems."

The American said, "Talking about love
Marriages...I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.
"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. 
My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. 
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson.
Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson. 
And you say you have family problems... Gimme a break!!"

Important information - L.P.G. (Liquefied petroleum gas) cylinders

Please communicate this information to your family and friends.

Have U ever heard about LPG (Liquefied petroleum gas) cylinder's expiry date....??

Do you know that there is an expiry date (physical life) for LPG cylinders? Expired Cylinders are not safe for use and may cause accidents. In this regard, please be cautious at the time of accepting any LPG cylinder from the vendor.

Here is how we can check the expiry of LPG cylinders:
On one of three side stems of the cylinder, the expiry date is coded alpha numerically as follows A or B or C or D and some two digit number following this e.g. D06.

The alphabets stand for quarters -
1. A for March (First Qtr),
2. B for June (Second Qtr),
3. C for Sept (Third Qtr),
4. D for December (Fourth Qtr).

The digits stand for the year till it is valid. Hence D06 would mean December qtr of 2006.
Please Return Back the Cylinder that you get with a Expiry Date, they are prone to Leak and other Hazardous accidents ...

Expiry Date: December of 2006

 The second example with D13 allows the cylinder to be in use until Dec 2013 .

Expiry Date: December of 2013

Kindly pass this to every one,
and create awareness among the public
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Stupid sayings by Famous people

OH MY GOD, These people are really, really, really... stupid! I couldn't stop laughing ... sharing with you! :-)

“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”


–Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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 ”Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

–Mariah Carey

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Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”

–Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”

– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

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“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”

–Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”

–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”

–A congressional candidate in Texas ..

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“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”

–Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it..”

–Al Gore, Vice President

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“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix ..”

– Dan Quayle

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“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”

–Lee Iacocca

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“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

–Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”

– Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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“Traditionally, most of Australia ‘s imports come from overseas.”

–Keppel Enderbery

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“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”

–Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman